We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
