bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Randomize
