please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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