The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
