I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize