if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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