So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
