So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
