Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
