based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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