dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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