It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
