Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
