she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
