If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
