Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
