so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize
