THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
