Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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