you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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