six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
