He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Randomize
