One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize