I am puke
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
