Yo dont text me then not text me
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
