He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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