She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize