i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Randomize
