chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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