its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
