Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
