really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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