I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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