I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He better not be in your backpack
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
