Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
