Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
How does one acquire holy water?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize