who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
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