I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize
