I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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