your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
