it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
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