Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
