my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
