dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
You peed on a flamingo?!?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
