Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
and i looked up. we had an audience...
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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