he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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