Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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