Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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