one word: firstdatebathroomanal
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Just pee around me
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize
