The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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