If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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