i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
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