my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
