His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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