took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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