we're blogging at a bar
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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