Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
