everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I am available for nakedness
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
