I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Is it because I queefed?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
