I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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