i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
