Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I can't turn off my feet"
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
