I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Randomize
